But from what I understand the fucking thing doesn't even have strings, or does it?

No strings but apparently they have capacitive touch sensors on the surface. One reviewer describes the "freestyle" mode:

"there's a usable fret board in so-called open E tuning, letting you select actual cords by placing a finger on its respective fret up or down the printed-on fret board. One finger does major, two fingers does minor, and three fingers does a 7th."

Also:

"The amp uses a sonic transducer to vibrate its entire, cheap cardboard mass, and is actually rather loud."

Of how stupid this product is? I don't see it.