Hey! I care about troops! If they got all their arms and legs and stuff and they're on TV! Also I can joke about my many failures, cause I'm almost done. Fuck you, America!
Thank God our president is all caught up on dealing with all the problems in our country to the point where he has time to pop up on a game show to help out one of our brave fighting lads newly come back from an invasion we launched on a country that had no ill will whatsoever towards us---in fact, the mayor of Detroit, MI once gave Saddam Hussein the key to the city---before we ahh fuck it, I'm gonna go watch the new Yahtzee review and have another drink. *sound of footsteps padding off towards the fridge where the beer is*