No, because people who gamble away every penny just need to make better choices and develop some self-control.

To regulate or restrict gambling in any way would be unfair to people who worked hard to develop the strength of character to gamble responsibly.

That's why we should put the onus on the gamblers and require them to get a gambler's license. As with a driver's license, if you prove yourself to be an irresponsible gambler, your gambler's license revoked and can't gamble until you prove yourself responsible enough.

I can't imagine the gambling industry would be opposed to this. After all, they want people to gamble for fun. If someone is ruining their lives with gambling, it would reflect poorly on the whole enterprise.

Right?

I am thoroughly convinced that Archie slept with his sister. Peyton is a mountain of forehead with collapsed sinuses, and Eli is a legitimate mouth-breathing dullard.

I'm not using the term pejoratively: Eli actually seems retarded. Him winning two Superbowls is the NFL equivalent of Being There, and it happened twice.

Impressive! Where would one even FIND a tench coat these day?

It was a solid joke, botched implementation notwithstanding. Four stars!