I'm not wearing a watch, but I'll look at my wrist to make you self conscious about how you're severely undershooting my low expectations.

YOU FORGOT TO ANNOY THE CUSTOMER

Funcoland LLC requires all new employees to experience a vision quest.

This is the corporate version of having one's high school photos used for those "Classmates.com" banner ads.

Is it just me or is everything said after they 5:50 a euphemism for homosexuality... Cruisin' USA...

This universe is far from rad.

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY WHAT BRINGS YOU IN

SAY THAT'S AN UNSEASONABLY HEAVY COAT YOU'RE WEARING

YOUR STANDING A BIT TOO CLOSE TO THE MERCHANDISE

HA HA NO WE DON'T HAVE BATTLETOADS

PLEASE DON'T OPEN THE CONTAINERS, SIR

PLEASE DON'T OPEN THE CONTAINERS, SIR

PLEASE DON'T OPEN THE CONTAINERS, SIR

OH HEY ALRIGHT THANKS FOR COMING IN HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Fuck the random audio channel shit.

"my son is dead"

part 2 is still in the hopper, fyi. i really, really, really tried to make the multipart submitter work, i swear.

Castlevania music always warrants five stars.

Funcoland: where all of your pre conceived notions about working here couldn't compare to the horror of the reality.

Also, was his boss supposed to be like "a boss"? Should we cheer when Adam eventually snaps and kills him, releasing bonus points?

But they're not making me study anything out of a binder to prepare for this job, they're just making me watch this video. And the video is nothing like working here at all.

"wise old game master" is a tag. Ironic maybe but there it is.

Where do you think you are, FUNNNNCOLAND???

Yeah, I love it when they push other products on me, try to get me to sign up for the card, try to sell me their magazine, ask me if I want to preorder something... I just eat that shit up.

SIR I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TEST THE GAME WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

Had I seen this when it was relatively new, I'd have tried to make the Game Master on VIRTUA PRO WRESTLING 2.

We're really just an upscale pawn shop

Your boss is evil, and the customers are the enemies. That's what I was supposed to learn here, right?

When Goldust used to talk about his "acting career" was this what he was talking about?

stop shaking the hourglass, you fat painted bastard