I can open a bottle of beer with a bottle opener. Why bother hurting your hand or wasting a piece of paper?

Well, it's very useful for those situations when you have no bottle opener to hand but you do have some paper. Those really common situations just like that.

I was in a hotel in Hong Kong and opened a couple of beer bottles with the spoons they put out for tea. For some reason they didn't have any in the room. I also did not want to go all the way downstairs to the front desk and ask. This is an INTERESTING story. I cut my finger once or twice. It was extremely good beer.

i bought some beer in china once without realizing that they haven't invented the twist off there and tried to do that trick where put the cap against a hard edge (like a slate table top) and smack it. do you think there was a single hard edge in that apartment? cheap chinese construction. i ended up breaking the neck and straining it through a coffee filter.

these stars are for my story. this video is boring.

I once yelled "WOMAN! I asked for an open bottle!" and got it.

One time I tried to open some chocolate milk, but the two flaps of the carton stuck together. So using my bare hands I just opened it on the other side.

My favorite bottle opener is a snare drum rim. Works really well.

Also, they make bottle-opener rings, mostly for frat guys.

That was of course supposed to be a reply to Camonk.

I once defused a ticking time bomb with a paperclip and a short length of used twine. Then to celebrate I opened a beer bottle with a baby.

I once created a nuka-grenade with some cleaner, some turpentine, a tin can and a nuka-cola. Then to celebrate I blew myself up.

:(

I once hacked into the pentagon with a rusty paperclip and an electronic Spanish-to-English dictionary.

Once I opened up a guy with beer bottle. He was filled with life at the time.