I hate Florida. I have nightmares about Florida. I was one of those 'grandchildren who love it here' who fucking hated every interminable minute. The hot swamp air. The freon scented chill of the malls malls MALLS! The old people giving me dirty looks for being a wippersnapper. The filthy fat hicks that make up the native population. Ultraconservative religious smarm everywhere. Guns. Hey, look at that hairy bug-eyed inbred hick with a fucking holster and huge gun at the MALL. Miles and miles and miles of suburb. Sometimes gated communities, sometimes soul crushing poverty. But you could always get nunchucks of ninja stars when you need them.
Brown Derby was pretty delicious as I recall.
Fuck me. A vacation in Florida is this video played continuously non stop for three goddamn near suicidal weeks oh holy fucking christ I wish I never wished grade six was over fuck Florida fuck you unwashed cock hanging out of America's pants.
'The filthy fat hicks that make up the native population. Ultraconservative religious smarm everywhere. Guns. Hey, look at that hairy bug-eyed inbred hick with a fucking holster and huge gun at the MALL. Miles and miles and miles of suburb. Sometimes gated communities, sometimes soul crushing poverty. But you could always get nunchucks of ninja stars when you need them.'
I've only been to the retirement part of florida once or twice, but Boca Raton is terrifying. It's just one giant strip mall connected by retirement communities. It was boring as shit and I almost got fucking killed a half dozen times by old people who couldn't fucking drive.
At least the creepy redneck parts of north florida that are essentially south alabama have that awesome southern gothic ambiance to them.
I was raised in a retirement community in Florida.
One time, we wanted a skate park built to, you know, skate on. The old people complained and wrote a letter to the local newspaper saying, and I quote, "the kids don't need a skate park, they can paly shuffle board".
The non-elderly population consisted of lawyers and doctors, and their spoiled children.. all of whom I am happy to report have grown up to the be the complete mental retard drug addled morons that I thought they would.