TeenerTot 
I love that there was a press conference to cover this.
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Wonko the Sane
CHiPs
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citrusmirakel
There's so much to love about this.
The report starts out with a "woman on the street" interview for a reporter must have asked "What sort of chips do people in this neighborhood prefer?", the voiceover's cavalcade of poorly planned puns, the idea that a woman would have a garageful of barbeque potato chips and be very protective of them, and the Police Sergeant trying to pretend like this is a serious issue, but he just can not fucking do it.
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Dinkin Flicka
The greatest slow news night ever? This story could have taken 30 seconds to report
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SixDigitDebt
Nothing interesting ever happens in this fucking city. >:/
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The Mothership
Tonight's news report brought to you by Zellers and Ma Bell.
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Jet Bin Fever
This is incredibly important news! You guys just don't know how hard those chips are to obtain!
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Triggerbaby
As a man who was born and raised in Saanich, BC, Canada, I don't see anything wrong with this report. We take our snacks seriously here. Very seriously.
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Hooker
By the way, for those that don't know what Zellers is and can't figure out from the exterior shot: it's Canadian Wal-Mart/K-Mart/Target.
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Racketeer
Since when would chip packaging be described as "effervescent"?
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Maggot Brain
The news from Canada!
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Caminante Nocturno
Counseling and dip have been provided to the victim, but not her dog. Dogs aren't allowed human food.
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